Giving is NOT the new receiving.

thespiralcoaching
Mar 17
2 min read

Updated: Mar 23

Sixteen years ago I was heavily pregnant and building a chest of drawers from IKEA alone on the floor.

My husband was not far away. I could have waited. I could have asked.

I did not!

By the time he came home I had back and leg pain. I could barely move.

But the chest of drawers was built. Well Done Me :)

Did I learn my lesson? Of course not. Because it was never about the chest of drawers.

It was about a woman who would find a way to do it herself before she would ever think to ask for help. Not because nobody would help. But because somewhere along the way she had decided that doing it alone meant she was strong. And asking meant she was not.

Sound familiar?

For years the wellness world has made this worse not better. We have been handed a phrase that sounds like wisdom and quietly gave us all permission to keep going.

'Giving is the new receiving'.

Pour more. Give more. Show up more. Call it purpose. Call it strength. Call it who you are.

But here is what that phrase actually did to women who were already giving everything they had.

It gave them permission to keep emptying. And called it growth.

I work with High-Giving Women every day inside my twelve week programme 'The Return'. Women who are extraordinary at showing up for everyone around them and have quietly somewhere along the way stopped showing up for themselves. So gradually they barely noticed it happening. Until they felt it in the tiredness that never shifts. In the resentment they cannot quite name. In the moment someone asks what they need and they genuinely do not know anymore.

When I ask these women about receiving the answers are always the same.

I do not need anyone. I can do it myself. Nobody ever asks if I want help.

I wish someone had told me on that floor surrounded by IKEA instructions fifteen years ago what I know now.

Giving and receiving are two sides of the same thing. When one is off balance so is the other. You cannot keep pouring from a vessel that was never allowed to be filled.

The question is not how do I give less. The question is why does receiving feel so impossible.

That is exactly why I created The Receiving Wheel.

A free coaching tool built exclusively for High-Giving Women. Adapted from the Wheel of Life, one of the most trusted tools in professional coaching, and rebuilt entirely around receiving. Eight segments. Eight areas where High-Giving Women most consistently close off.

I use this with every woman I work with inside The Return. This week I am making it available to you completely free.

It takes five minutes. Score it honestly. And it might show you something you have been carrying without words for a very long time.

Download it below. No catch. No commitment. Just clarity.

DOWNLOAD THE RECEIVING WHEEL