Recognising Yourself: Signs You Might Be a High-Giving Woman
- thespiralcoaching
- Mar 21
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 8
You probably wouldn’t describe yourself this way. You are just someone who shows up. You get things done. You are there when people need you. But there is a specific kind of woman I work with every day. If you recognise yourself in more than three of these eight signs, the rest of this post was written for you.
Signs You Might Be a High-Giving Woman
One. You Sit Upright on the Sofa
Not because you are uncomfortable. Fully switching off does not feel safe. Lying down feels indulgent. Resting feels like something you haven’t quite earned yet. So, you sit. Alert. Available. Just in case.
Two. You Cannot Fall Asleep Because There Are Too Many Tabs Open
None of them are yours. They are all for other people. Tomorrow's packed lunch. The email you need to send. The thing you forgot to tell someone. Your mind runs the list on a loop at 2 AM because, somewhere along the way, you became responsible for remembering everything for everyone.
Three. Your Holiday Handover Document Reads Like an Instruction Manual
Every detail covered. Every scenario anticipated. Your WhatsApp set to available just in case. The idea of not being needed, even for two weeks, feels more uncomfortable than never switching off at all.
Four. You Make Your Own Soup When You Are Ill
Nobody offered. You did not ask. You wouldn’t dream of asking. Getting up and making it yourself feels easier than admitting you need someone to do it for you. You have been the capable one for so long that being looked after feels almost foreign.
Five. You Snap at Something Completely Irrelevant
Then, you immediately act like it never happened. Not because you are unkind. You have swallowed so much for so long that it occasionally comes out sideways. The guilt of it sends you straight back into people-pleasing mode. Smoothing it over. Making it fine. Moving on.
Six. You Will Not Go Out If You Cannot Pay Your Share
The shame of not being able to contribute is unbearable. So, you stay home instead. Receiving, even something as simple as someone else picking up the bill, feels uncomfortably close to being a burden.
Seven. You Cover for Colleagues Without Being Asked
You work like you own the company. You stay late. You anticipate problems before anyone else has noticed them. You are indispensable, and somewhere underneath that pride is a quiet exhaustion that nobody ever sees.
Eight. You Deflect Every Compliment Before It Lands
Someone tells you that you did something brilliantly. Before they finish the sentence, you are minimising it. You turn it back on them. You find a reason it is not quite true. Staying inside a compliment long enough to actually feel it feels almost impossible.
Understanding Your Patterns
If you recognised yourself in more than three of these signs, you are not alone. Here is what I want you to know. These are not character flaws. They are not personality traits you were born with. They are patterns. Formed early. Reinforced over the years. And completely possible to understand and change.
The woman who cannot receive help, kindness, compliments, or support is almost always the same woman who gives everything she has to everyone around her. Giving and receiving are two sides of the same thing. When one is off balance, so is the other.
The Receiving Wheel: A Tool for Change
The Receiving Wheel was created for exactly this moment. It is a free coaching tool that shows you exactly where you are closing off and why. Eight segments. Ten minutes. It might name something you have been carrying for years.
If something in this has stayed with you, you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
I offer a free virtual coffee chat. You can get in touch to book your free virtual chat here.
Success That Includes You is an intensive 10 session coaching programme - click for further information and prices.
Chat soon x
Senem 🌀
Identity Coach for High-Giving Women ICF
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